Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
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