yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
there is glitter all over my balls
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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