I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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