Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
