that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize