do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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