it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
