We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
