Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
