Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
