I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
