It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
there is another microwave in the elevator.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
