Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
