Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
