My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
