So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
