Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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