We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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