But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
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Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I want to fling myself into the sun
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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