Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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