Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
