It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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