His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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