I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize