Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
