we made out on top of his cat.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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