Ambien. No doubt about it.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
