You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
