she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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