P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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