Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
