help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
