Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
i now understand why vodka
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
