mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
