would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
whose ass print is on the piano?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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