how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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