I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
