no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
it's great music for shaving your balls
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize