Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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