Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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