I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
