i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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