I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
