Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
