you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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