At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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