I can tuck mytits in my pants
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
