Christians are straight up FREAKS
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
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After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
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Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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