he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
