What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
