Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
So much rum. So many feels.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Randomize
