did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Just pee around me
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
