My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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