I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
