Kiss
Puke
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
im holly from the hills drunk
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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