It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Pants are for mortals
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
