My nipple is on Facebook.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
