She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
